NO NEWS IS BAD NEWS

The network and cable news services feed on the visuals that attract and keep viewers glued to many a TV screen. That the majors are losing ground to the internet as a news source is no surprise. Add to that equation the possibility of a day or week without major news events on a global scale and you’ll have the networks scampering to rehash yesterday’s news.

What to do?

Hire Rioters-R-Us! Create chaos. Pinpoint a religious cause and put the PR machine to work!

A lighthearted view of this “tactic” can be found in George Simpson’s column today on Mediapost’s Media Daily. His satire plays well …. if it is satire indeed (?).

Follow this link to his commentary …. it's a riot.

http://publications.mediapost.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=Articles.san&s=48646&Nid=23702&p=19549

GEICO GEKKO …. MOVE OVER!

Plagiarism is considered a high form of flattery.

A parody of the Geico commercial with Little Richard hit the YouTube site just about 5 days ago. It has already had upward of 11,000 views and going strong.

The parody replaces the actor opposite Richard with President Bush, in a take-off even the conservative FOX network aired.

Congratulations to The Martin Agency for a creative mix that raised the bar for Geico one again. Congratulations to Geico for recognizing the value inherent in a well executed, humorous campaign.

What follows is the original thirty-second spot and its parody, just below it.

“ZERO” TO “SIXTY” IN ONE SECOND !

As Nielsen braces to report ratings for commercial minutes as the new currency for unit pricing, it is also grappling with the definition of a commercial. The issue attempts to define the difference between a national commercial and a direct response (DR) commercial.

Wake up! There is no difference. A commercial is a commercial is a commercial. The message should play no part in the definition of what it is.

My guess is that DR or “call to action” commercials perform better than your standard fare. Revealing higher ratings for these units will either cause the networks to increase pricing for Direct Response ads or jolt creative directors to introduce response mechanisms into more standard fare.

Direct Response folks always know how well their ads work --- minutes after they air. National ratings aside, DR call centers redirect response rates to buyers who make program changes to accommodate poor performance. In the internet world it’s called “Optimization”.

It is ultimately unlikely that his shift in charting how almost $60 billion will be spent will have any impact in the real world. What Nielsen’s commercial minute ratings will NOT tell you is who is paying attention. That kind of feedback is and has been handily managed for years by Direct Response Rates.

The bottom line is sales ….. not ratings.

HORROR OR HYPOCRISY ?

The controversy swirling around CBS’s Survivor series move to pit different races against each other has provided a feeding frenzy for the media and has major corporate sponsors pulling out of the series.

I may be missing a point here but aren’t the Olympics, pitting one nation against another, country against country, tantamount to the same thing? Isn’t China against the United States, in the truest sense, a race competition? Israel against Saudi Arabia? Mexico against India?

For centuries, wars have been fought based upon cultural and racial differences, fueled by greed. The Olympics provided a safe playground for all nations to show their colors and standing in friendly world competitions.

We watch these competitions day in and day out, disguised as wrestling matches, movies, sports competitions and, yes, news.

Isn’t CBS merely providing yet another friendly “playground” as an outlet for competitive games? Let’s not make more of this than has existed since the first geographic boundaries were drawn.

CBS has its agenda for the series – ratings. How it goes about managing the selection of participants and competitions will be a challenge in and of itself. But, the network is also providing an opportunity, for those who believe in their cultural heritage, to shine.

Those who profess horror at the thought of what they accept wrapped in a different package need to sit and think of the hypocrisy of it all.

PING! – A RIVER IN THAILAND?

A relatively new startup out of San Jose just released a Beta version of its instant voicemail service delivered to any of your eMail contact lists. The company, PINGER (not the river in Thailand), is exclusively funded by Kleiner Perkins Caufield and Byers.

Considered to be an “early adapter” I tapped into the site, registered and was up and running with several hundred contacts in just three minutes. The first voicemail was placed to my own eMail account at Gmail from my cellphone. The interface proved simple and easy to navigate. The pick-up on the other end was just as smooth with no prompting required by the recipient. Voice quality was surprisingly good.

Cost for the service, at least for now, is free. I suspect support in the form of text advertising will keep the service free for the most part with few, if any, complaints. Volume users will also be charged a fee for excess messages.

For now, it’s a novel way to send voice messages to a contact that might not otherwise want to be bothered by phone messages. Down the road, I can see its integration with a host of business applications. It can also be a boon to the visually impaired and those individuals that don’t have easy access to a PC.

Take Pinger for a spin …. www.pinger.com …. and PING! me with your comments.

OVER EASY, HOLD THE ADS


The versatility of the common egg, touted as a perfect food in a perfect package, was bound to hit Madison Avenue sooner or later.

A Boulder Colorado company, Egg Fusion, perfected a method to laser-etch the egg surface with expiration dates and, yes, marketing messages.

The CBS network will be among the first to use the technology to promote its Fall line-up. CSI – “Crack The Case”, The Amazing Race – “Scramble To Win On CBS” are but a hint of what we can “eggspect” this Fall.

Has Mad-ison Avenue gone too far? As a consumer, I resent the use of a food product that I purchased, with an “in-your-face” commercial message on it. If you want to place an ad on my property, then pay me for it --- or reduce the cost of the product. I can draw a close analogy to cookies placed on my hard-drive. Don’t put them there unless there is some kind of return or benefit in it for me….and ask me first.

The implied benefit in this instance is the ability to recognize an expiration date, etched in alongside the ad message. No thanks. Every carton carries that information on its side – I don’t need to be reminded twelve times.

The consumer will, ultimately decide if this is a passing fad. I trust the consumer.
As for CBS, it’s the perfect package -- Created By Sperm.

MONA LISA, STEP ASIDE

She's famous for her thin-lipped smile, hiding a secret only her creator knew. Today, it's no secret that Sandra Bernhard has no secrets.

When scheduled to board a plane post the recent security measures banning liquids, gels and, yes, lipsticks, she declared "try to take away my MAC PlushGlass and it's World War III!".

MAC brilliantly jumped on this to distribute a 2-minute video rant by Bernhard on the topic of lips. Who better?!

HIGH ON THE LIGHTER SIDE

AGENCY.GONE ?

As the pitch for the Subway Sandwich business moves forward, agency.com took a bold step forward in an attempt to let Subway's management peek under its covers and watch how an agency pulls its pitch team together.

It's a big gamble and likely a bigger mistake.

In a nine-plus minute video posted on YouTube, the agency serves up nothing more than a lame comedy routine a bunch of teens could have come up with. Getting behind the counter, serving up sandwiches as sandwich artists, the pitch team makes the process appear simple minded and non-professional. It's high school all over again.

The video itself proves to be boring, uneventful, complete with innuendos and insults. The management at Subway, in a smart move, made "no comment".

The seeming lack of organization on the part of agency.com to put its best foot forward can only help its competition. Wow me with consumer insights and buzz, research, and marketing prowess. Tell me about my competition. Show me how to leverage the dynamic shift in consumer marketing channels. Give me examples of success in my category. And create brilliant communications that embody these principles.

At the end of the day, agency.com did more to generate awareness of itself across tens of thousands of viewers. That's what they may have expected .... Ironically, it was attention drawn to a lousy execution.

Here's the video if you can stand it for nine minutes .... be patient while it loads.

HERE TODAY, GONE TOMORROW ?

There has been much controversy surrounding a move by The Wall Street Journal to accept advertising on Page One. Soon, The Journal will also “downsize” the dimensions of its print version to offset increased overhead.

These moves underscore the need to cauterize revenue declines, for the print version, in the face of falling circulation. The Journal does not stand alone as the New York Times is also facing downsizing.

Note: Critics against Page One advertising claim it will somehow lessen the integrity of the national newspaper, maintaining the need for separation of “church and state”. Have these critics taken a few moments to examine the ads that appear on the Home Page of their Internet counterparts? What makes an ad on Page One more disingenuous than and ad on the Home Page?


Most, if not all, of this maneuvering stems from the tremendous and increasing appetite for news delivered via the Internet. Print, in almost all forms, is suffering circulation declines. The downward trend will continue for some time.

Fortunately, traditional media giants are recognizing the need to integrate digital versions into their product suites. Rupert Murdoch is leading that charge for News Corp. while The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal Internet editions are experiencing surging revenue increases.

Managing cost containment on one side while investing on the other is a short-term solution to a long-term problem. The business model for an integrated company like the WSJ must change radically.

Radical Solution for The Wall Street Journal: Force a downward circulation base for the Journal by increasing the subscription cost for the printed version to $2500 ($10 / copy newsstand), eliminating all but the cream of the reader crop while, at the same time, increasing the CPM for these readers to increase margins. Ramp up the Internet ad rates, allowing for increases in unique visits and an extension for mobile delivery options.